Iowa
Written by Mr Marbles   
Friday, 03 November 2017

Iowa

Saturday, November 4, 2017
3:30 pm EST
Kinnick Stadium, Iowa City, IA

 Break out the loose meats, Mr. Marbles is heading to Iowa City!

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While loose meat sandwiches are typically associated with Iowa and western areas of Illinois, Mr. Marbles was fortunate to grow up in the isolated loose meat belt of Ohio. In his day, folks back home we're hooked on these things. Nowadays, folks back home are hooked on heroin. 

Last week, we were all in a glass case of emotion.  For over three quarters, we rotated between faint hope and Bobby Knight chair throwin' frustration as the Buckeyes stumbled and fumbled against an incomprehensibly immoral opponent and their penis-looking dirtbag coach. For three and a half quarters, it looked like the program that catered a child rapist's paradise for preying on young boys for decades would not only win, but perhaps blow out the Buckeyes at Ohio Stadium.

And then, a comeback for the ages.

I'm not sure what that even means, but respected journalists have long-used that phrase to introduce stories of memorable sports comebacks and I'm a very respected journalist. In fact, I demand your respect and will direct all those who don't respect my weekly journalistic venture to a web link that will unknowingly redirect you to the religious experience that lies within me@ spin.com. I urge my loyal readers who do show me proper respect to not venture to that site at work as it is still, umm, how do I put this?...active? Anyway, it was certainly a comeback for the ages and Kropkogaters everywhere celebrated and broke out into a 42nd Street Broadway show style song and tap dance until Mr. Roper came up and told everyone to knock it off.

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Stanley Roper was known to respond to a fracas like the one described above with some sort of insulting homosexual comment that would have went over better with audiences in 1979 than today, unless, of course, it was made on ABC's Modern Family, in which case it would be dismissed as good-natured liberal humor rather than protest-worthy reinforcement of stereotypes. The cowardly Mr. Furley would have handled the situation better, but not without calling us all "Tippy Tap Toes" for the rest of our lives. Larry would have come down stairs, embraced the celebration, impregnated all women present, and continued on with his free-swinging bachelor lifestyle as he would have made up a fake name so none of them could track him down. Larry was cool as hell. 

There's no greater feeling than pulling off a nearly impossible comeback, knowing that no matter how bad things got you never stopped pounding Natty Lights and screaming at the college kids playing a game on your television to make it all happen. But the thrill of spectating victory is illusive, as we quickly turn the page and prepare to swill beers, fill crockpots with cheese-based dips, and brace ourselves for the roller-coaster of emotions that lurk ahead the next Saturday.

 

For real-time updates, follow me on The Twitter - @Mr_Marbles

Mr. Marbles and Mr. Winkles will represent the Kropkogate community in Iowa City this week. They are eager to impress the Hawkeye tailgaters with their synchronized coning routine they've been practicing via skype for the past six months. This will be Mr. Marbles' third trip to Kinnick, but first time to see Ohio State. Iowa is 0-2 at Kinnick and 0-? (I don't remember, but probably around 6) at Ohio Stadium when Mr. Marbles is present for their games, which is likely the reason the odds makers are favoring Ohio State by 18.

 

ESPN Pick'em Update

Don't forget to make your Kropkogate ESPN Pick'em selections .Rankings after 9 weeks:

  1. boomperOSU
  2. Kropko
  3. anderson9611

Asian Reporter Robert Lee has won back-to-back weekly contests.

 

 B1G Expert Pick'em

Each week, Kropkogate's team of expert prognosticators gamble their life savings away while attempting to predict the outcomes of all Big Ten contests. We're entering the home stretch and things are getting interesting. Mr. Winkles and Kropko remain tied for first, but T-Bone--once left for dead locked inside the Big Ten surplus stock room--has clawed his way back into the race, fueled by nothing other than a steady diet of expired Rotel and Barbasol.

 

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Kropko

   Mr. Marbles

Pizza Hall

 Mr. Winkles 

 T-Bone

Ohio State at Iowa
 Ohio State Ohio State
 Ohio State  Ohio State
 Ohio State
Wisconsin at Indiana  Wisconsin Indiana
 Wisconsin  Wisconsin  Wisconsin
Illinois at Purdue  Purdue Purdue
 Purdue  Purdue  Purdue
Maryland at Rutger
 Maryland Maryland
 Maryland  Maryland  Maryland
Northwestern at Nebraska
 Northwestern Nebraska  Northwestern  Northwestern  Northwestern
Minnesota at Michigan  Michigan Michigan
 Michigan  Michigan  Michigan
Penn State at Michigan State
 Penn State Penn State
 Penn State  Penn State
 Penn State
           
           
           
           
           
 




           
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