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(4 votes)
Written by Mr Marbles   
Friday, 25 November 2016

Michigan at Ohio State

Saturday, November 26, 2016
12:00 pm EST
Ohio Stadium 


Vintage Kropkogate program cover, date unknown


It's Michigan!   Michigan, damn it! is here to provide everything you need to know about the big game and wall-to-wall coverage throughout the day. We're ranked #3 among Kropkogate attendees in Kropkogate coverage and we're climbing toward that number 2 spot.   Let's get into the nitty-gritty:

ERECTION - The tailgate will be erected Friday afternoon at 3 pm.  A motorcade will transport Mr. Winkles, dignitary from the Deep South, from John Glenn International Airport to the ag-campus to commence opening ceremonies.  Expect road closures throughout Columbus during this time.

PERFORMANCE -  Dead Schembechlers will be playing at Ace of Cups Friday night.  Kropkogate representatives will be present and delighted to showcase their Chad Henne dance.

CAMP - Kropkogaters are welcome to camp over night at the tailgate.  Planned activities include movies, drinking, and I believe there are rumors of a good old fashion circle jerk.  Perhaps that's just a false-rumor, but I wouldn't take the chance of missing out.

STOLEYGATE -  Still sucks.

7 AM FLIP CUP - Just like it sounds

FIREBALL - Lots of it.


CHAD HENNE SONG - On repeat.

SEXUAL RELATIONS IN THE AG BUILDING - We'll have wall-to-wall live coverage as it happens

GAME - Watch it at the tailgate.

CELEBRATION - Ceremonial post-game bush dive will be in order after the win

DEBAUCHERY - Oh the alcohol will flow.




Kropkogaters protest in front of Michigan Stadium before The Game, 2003.


COTGS Index*: 92

Oh, look at that index climb.  The Michigan game oozes with stupidity every year.   The only question is how early will things officially cross into stupid mode.  Kearns set the bar high way back in 2004 with a drunk and disorderly conduct citation around 8 am after crouching in a three-point stance in the middle of Norwich Avenue in an attempt to tackle oncoming traffic.  Will we see an ambitious Kropkogater rise to the occasion and set the bar higher on Saturday?  Will there be a bean chug?  Will the magical gin bucket make an appearance?  Bring your whole family down to the tailgate by the Olentangy, get so drunk that you lose control of your bowel movements and make chocolate pudding in your undergarments, and find out the answers to these questions and much much more.

*Chances of Things Getting Stupid Index is determined using a highly complicated scientific formula that produces indexed results ranging from 0-100, computed using an array of complex variables and a multitude of over-sized computers located in the basement of Kropkogate.  


For real-time updates, follow me on the Twitter - @Mr_Marblesnd

I tweet everything you need to know and a whole lot more of everything you don't.


Protect America, Protest the Election

Aside from our presidential endorsements every four years, we here at usually don't dabble in online political opinion.  However, it would be a disservice to our readers and down-right un-American to stay silent when the president of our country threatens humanity.  When the presidential selection process fails us and ignores the will of the majority who voted, it is our duty as reputable members of the media to demand change.  That is why we are calling upon all Americans to join us in the protest of the most uneducated person to ever be deemed Commander in Chief, that son-of-a-bitch Michigan grad Gerald Ford.



The 38th President of the United States, snake oil salesman Gerald Ford failed to garner the support of the popular vote on his way to the White House.  In fact, he garnered no votes.  Wasn't even on the ballot.  As the only person to have held the title of Vice President and President of the United States without having been elected to either office, he weaseled his way into power and held America hostage with his evil Wolverine initiatives. It is no coincidence that Charlie Bauman enrolled at Clemson during the Ford's reign of terror, which was part of the president's long-term conspiracy to rid Ohio State of venerable coach Woody Hayes.   


ESPN Pick'em Update

We have a new leader!  Kropko's campaign to retain his championship belt is in jeopardy, but he still has 2 weeks to reclaim the lead.  Rankings for the 2016 season:

  1. Cardale Jones Diary
  2. Kropko
  3. Mr. Marbles
Jrwulf won week twelve.  Don't forget to make your selections this week.


B1G Expert Pick'em

Each week, Kropkogate's team of expert prognosticators gamble their life savings away while attempting to predict the outcomes of all Big Ten games. Go Sparty!









Mr. Marbles

Pizza Hall

 Mr. Winkles 


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