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  3. Mr Marbles

 

 

 

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The Game PDF Print E-mail
(4 votes)
Written by Mr Marbles   
Friday, 25 November 2016

Michigan at Ohio State

Saturday, November 26, 2016
12:00 pm EST
Ohio Stadium 

 michigan2015.jpg

Vintage Kropkogate program cover, date unknown

 

It's Michigan!   Michigan, damn it!  Kropkogate.com is here to provide everything you need to know about the big game and wall-to-wall coverage throughout the day. We're ranked #3 among Kropkogate attendees in Kropkogate coverage and we're climbing toward that number 2 spot.   Let's get into the nitty-gritty:

ERECTION - The tailgate will be erected Friday afternoon at 3 pm.  A motorcade will transport Mr. Winkles, dignitary from the Deep South, from John Glenn International Airport to the ag-campus to commence opening ceremonies.  Expect road closures throughout Columbus during this time.

PERFORMANCE -  Dead Schembechlers will be playing at Ace of Cups Friday night.  Kropkogate representatives will be present and delighted to showcase their Chad Henne dance.

CAMP - Kropkogaters are welcome to camp over night at the tailgate.  Planned activities include movies, drinking, and I believe there are rumors of a good old fashion circle jerk.  Perhaps that's just a false-rumor, but I wouldn't take the chance of missing out.

STOLEYGATE -  Still sucks.

7 AM FLIP CUP - Just like it sounds

FIREBALL - Lots of it.

THUNDERSTRUCK - Drink

CHAD HENNE SONG - On repeat.

SEXUAL RELATIONS IN THE AG BUILDING - We'll have wall-to-wall live coverage as it happens

GAME - Watch it at the tailgate.

CELEBRATION - Ceremonial post-game bush dive will be in order after the win

DEBAUCHERY - Oh the alcohol will flow.

hecklers.jpg

 marching.jpg

 

Kropkogaters protest in front of Michigan Stadium before The Game, 2003.

 

COTGS Index*: 92

Oh, look at that index climb.  The Michigan game oozes with stupidity every year.   The only question is how early will things officially cross into stupid mode.  Kearns set the bar high way back in 2004 with a drunk and disorderly conduct citation around 8 am after crouching in a three-point stance in the middle of Norwich Avenue in an attempt to tackle oncoming traffic.  Will we see an ambitious Kropkogater rise to the occasion and set the bar higher on Saturday?  Will there be a bean chug?  Will the magical gin bucket make an appearance?  Bring your whole family down to the tailgate by the Olentangy, get so drunk that you lose control of your bowel movements and make chocolate pudding in your undergarments, and find out the answers to these questions and much much more.

*Chances of Things Getting Stupid Index is determined using a highly complicated scientific formula that produces indexed results ranging from 0-100, computed using an array of complex variables and a multitude of over-sized computers located in the basement of Kropkogate.  

 

For real-time updates, follow me on the Twitter - @Mr_Marblesnd

I tweet everything you need to know and a whole lot more of everything you don't.

 

Protect America, Protest the Election

Aside from our presidential endorsements every four years, we here at Kropkogate.com usually don't dabble in online political opinion.  However, it would be a disservice to our readers and down-right un-American to stay silent when the president of our country threatens humanity.  When the presidential selection process fails us and ignores the will of the majority who voted, it is our duty as reputable members of the media to demand change.  That is why we are calling upon all Americans to join us in the protest of the most uneducated person to ever be deemed Commander in Chief, that son-of-a-bitch Michigan grad Gerald Ford.

ford.jpg

#NotMyPresident

The 38th President of the United States, snake oil salesman Gerald Ford failed to garner the support of the popular vote on his way to the White House.  In fact, he garnered no votes.  Wasn't even on the ballot.  As the only person to have held the title of Vice President and President of the United States without having been elected to either office, he weaseled his way into power and held America hostage with his evil Wolverine initiatives. It is no coincidence that Charlie Bauman enrolled at Clemson during the Ford's reign of terror, which was part of the president's long-term conspiracy to rid Ohio State of venerable coach Woody Hayes.   

 

ESPN Pick'em Update

We have a new leader!  Kropko's campaign to retain his championship belt is in jeopardy, but he still has 2 weeks to reclaim the lead.  Rankings for the 2016 season:

  1. Cardale Jones Diary
  2. Kropko
  3. Mr. Marbles
Jrwulf won week twelve.  Don't forget to make your selections this week.

 

B1G Expert Pick'em

Each week, Kropkogate's team of expert prognosticators gamble their life savings away while attempting to predict the outcomes of all Big Ten games. Go Sparty!

`
 

 krop2.jpg

marbles.jpg

pizza.jpg

rusw.jpg

tbone.jpg

 

Kropko

Mr. Marbles

Pizza Hall

 Mr. Winkles 

 T-Bone

Michigan at Ohio State  Ohio State  Ohio State  Michigan  Ohio State
 Ohio State
 Nebraska at Iowa
 Nebraska  Nebraska  Nebraska  Nebraska  Nebraska
 Purdue at Indiana
 Indiana  Indiana  Indiana  Indiana  Indiana
 Illinois at Northwestern
 Northwestern  Northwestern  Northwestern  Northwestern  Northwestern
 Rutger at Maryland
 Maryland  Maryland  Maryland  Maryland  Maryland
 Michigan State at Penn State
 Michigan State  Michigan State
 Michigan State
 Penn State
 Michigan State
 Minnesota at Wisconsin  Wisconsin  Wisconsin  Wisconsin  Wisconsin  Wisconsin
           
           
           
           
           
           
           
This Week        5-2          5-2         4-3         6-1           5-2
Season           79-26          77-28        77-28         83-22          81-24
 
Maryland PDF Print E-mail
(0 votes)
Written by Mr Marbles   
Friday, 11 November 2016

Ohio State at Maryland

Saturday, November 12, 2016
3:30 pm EST
Ohio Stadium 

 

COTGS Index*:  Null

Road game, so no official COTGS index this week.  However, several of your Kropkogate regulars--including Mr. Marbles, Mr. Winkles, and Beer Cone Inventor--will be in College Park for the game, so there's an overwhelming chance of things getting stupid anyway.

*Chances of Things Getting Stupid Index is determined using a highly complicated scientific formula that produces indexed results ranging from 0-100, computed using an array of complex variables and a multitude of over-sized computers located in the basement of Kropkogate.  

 

For real-time updates, follow me on the Twitter - @Mr_Marbles

  I'll be tweeting live from the nation's capitol, where undoubtedly we'll find Buck-I-Guy masturbating on the White House lawn.

 

ESPN Pick'em Update

Rankings for the 2016 season:

  1. Kropko
  2. Cardale Jones Diary
  3. Mr. Marbles
BuckeyeSoldier won week ten.  Don't forget to make your selections this week.

 

Mr. Marbles Game Plan

Mr. Marbles goes to Washington:  Tailgate..  Beer.  Cones.  Fuck I forgot to pack a cone. 

 

B1G Expert Pick'em

Each week, Kropkogate's team of expert prognosticators gamble their life savings away while attempting to predict the outcomes of all Big Ten games.  Mr. Winkles continues to lead as we march toward bowl season.

`
 

 krop2.jpg

marbles.jpg

pizza.jpg

rusw.jpg

tbone.jpg

 

Kropko

Mr. Marbles

Pizza Hall

 Mr. Winkles 

 T-Bone

Ohio State at Maryland
 Ohio State  Ohio State
 Ohio State
 Ohio State
 Ohio State
 Rutgers at Michigan State
 Michigan State  Michigan State
 Michigan State  Michigan State
 Michigan State
 Penn State at Indiana  Indiana  Penn State
 Penn State  Penn State
 Penn State
 Northwestern at Purdue
 Northwestern  Northwestern  Northwestern  Northwestern  Northwestern
 Illinois at Wisconsin  Wisconsin  Wisconsin  Wisconsin  Wisconsin  Wisconsin
 Minnesota at Nebraska
 Nebraska  Nebraska  Nebraska  Nebraska  Nebraska
 Michigan at Iowa
 Michigan  Michigan  Michigan  Michigan  Michigan
           
           
           
           
           
           
           
This Week         5-2          6-1         6-1          6-1           6-1
Season           68-23          66-25        67-24         70-21          69-22
 
Nebraska PDF Print E-mail
(2 votes)
Written by Mr Marbles   
Friday, 04 November 2016

Nebraska at Ohio State

Saturday, November 5, 2016
8:00 pm EST
Ohio Stadium 

  corn.jpg

COTGS Index*:  78

The Chicago Cubs won the World Series I'm just too happy and drained to write much of a preview this week.  I was going to go with some sort of Children of the Corn theme, so use your imagination and run with that.  It's a sort of "choose your own adventure" preview where I write nothing and you play this out in your mind however you see fit. 

Also, sorry, dear loyal Cleveland readers.  

*Chances of Things Getting Stupid Index is determined using a highly complicated scientific formula that produces indexed results ranging from 0-100, computed using an array of complex variables and a multitude of over-sized computers located in the basement of Kropkogate.  

 

For real-time updates, follow me on the Twitter - @Mr_Marbles

I have thoughts, I tweet some of them, and sometimes people press the favorite button, but most of the time no one bothers to reads them.  

   

ESPN Pick'em Update

Rankings for the 2016 season:

  1. Kropko
  2. Cardale Jones Diary
  3. Mr. Marbles
id3ma won week nine.  He went attended Michigan, so I'm guessing he probaby hates puppies.  Don't forget to make your selections this week.

 

Mr. Marbles Game Plan

Morning tailgate in Evanston, Cats game, then couch for Buckeyes.

 

B1G Expert Pick'em

Each week, Kropkogate's team of expert prognosticators gamble their life savings away while attempting to predict the outcomes of all Big Ten games.

`
 

 krop2.jpg

marbles.jpg

pizza.jpg

rusw.jpg

tbone.jpg

 

Kropko

Mr. Marbles

Pizza Hall

 Mr. Winkles 

 T-Bone

Nebraska at Ohio State
 Ohio State  Ohio State
 Ohio State
 Ohio State
 Ohio State
Wisconsin at Northwestern
 Wisconsin Northwestern  Wisconsin  Wisconsin  Wisconsin
 Indiana at Rutger  Indiana  Indiana  Indiana  Indiana  Indiana
 Michigan St at Illinois
 Michigan State  Michigan State
 Michigan State
 Michigan State
 Michigan State
 Maryland at Michigan
 Michigan  Michigan  Michigan  Michigan  Michigan
 Purdue at Minnesota
 Minnesota  Minnesota  Minnesota  Minnesota  Minnesota
 Iowa at Penn St  Penn State Penn State
 Iowa  Penn State
 Penn State
           
           
           
           
           
           
           
Last Week         6-1           5-2         5-2          6-1           6-1
Season           63-21          60-24        61-23         64-20          63-21
 
Northwestern PDF Print E-mail
(2 votes)
Written by Mr Marbles   
Friday, 28 October 2016

Northwestern at Ohio State

ogre-nerds.gif

Obligatory "Our team is playing Northwestern this week" blogger's gif

Saturday, October 29, 2016
3:30 pm EST
Ohio Stadium 

Lot's of pictures and gifs this week for those who don't like reading words! 

COTGS Index*:68

 when_worlds_collide_book.jpg

Folks, it's happening.  Everything I love in the realm of sports is converging on Saturday and I don't know how to handle this other than quickly adapting to a new lifestyle centered around recreational drug use.  Buckeye football, Cubs, and Pat Fitzgerald are the three loves of my sports spectating life.   What happens when two of these play against one another and the other has their most important game in franchise history all on the same day?      

 

worlds.gif

Yes, Jerry, worlds collide. Let us start with the football game.  For our new reader(s), I live a confusing life that mostly revolves around the fall football schedule.  I have spreadsheets mapping out detailed plans for every fall Saturday for the next four years (and only four years because the Big Ten hasn't released their schedule beyond 2019), and these plans are filled almost entirely with a Buckeye or Wildcat football game every week.  As one could imagine, this is a confusing time.  I can't root against Pat Fitzgerald and his magical pelvic thrusts and fist pumping beauty.  I can't root against Ohio State either and the program they've built with the help I've provided from tuition payments and reckless use of my discretionary income. I feel like Pat Fitzgerald feels when the Cats have the ball with less than two minutes to go in the half.  So much of the greatness of college football lies in schadenfreude, so my inability to take joy in a team's misfortunes in this game dampens my usual gameday bloodlust.

fitzconfused.jpg  ,

  I, too, am confused, Pat

diagram.gif

The Pat Fitzgerald School of Clock Management provides strategies to help you mismanage your football team's efforts when time is running out

There's also the Cubs.  The lovable loser Cubs.  My first sports love.  Playing in a World Series for the first time in my life (I don't really care who won what before I was born) on the same day as the Bucks and Cats.  Although my Cubs soul darkened following the Dusty Baker 2004 end of the regular season collapse, I'm still giddy as a gopher in an alfalfa patch about this team finally winning a World Series.  Of course, all 3 games at Wrigley take place the same weekend as the Ohio State - Northwestern game in Columbus forcing our traveling party to make difficult decisions (everyone else has abandoned the football game).   

Needless to say, with so much happening in one day, I've packed a few extra pairs of undergarments.  Will I show up to Kropkogate draped in purple velvet?  Or will I show up in my fashionable Ohio State gear?  Will I go full-blown Ronnie Woo Woo and wear a full Cubs uniform to the game and scream woos into Buckeye Guy's face the entire game?  Can I refrain from shouting "Justin Jackson The Ball Carrier!" every time Justin Jackson The Ball Carrier carries the before mentioned ball?  Will I cone a beer?  (hint: yes).  Will Pat's restraining order on me be recognized by Ohio law?

The answers to all these questions will come soon.  So come on down to the tailgate by the Olentangy on Saturday and tell'em Mr. Marbles sent'cha just like Pee Wee Herman did when he walked into the diner and told them Large Marge sent him. 

largemarge.gif

I believe this is the second time I've made a Large Marge reference in a Kropkogate.com tailgate preview

 

  *Chances of Things Getting Stupid Index is determined using a highly complicated scientific formula that produces indexed results ranging from 0-100, computed using an array of complex variables and a multitude of over-sized computers located in the basement of Kropkogate.   

 

For real-time updates, follow me on the Twitter - @Mr_Marbles

I have 67 followers and I'm pretty sure at least 10 of them are real people.  

 

2016 Kropkogate Election Endorsement

I've consulted no one else in the Kropkogate heirarchy for their opinions...this is just one of the perks of being a member of BIG MEDIA and Minister of Kropkogate Propaganda and Public Enlightenment.

President:  Gary Johnson - Libertarian.  I like Gary.  If you believe this is a throw away vote, I will be happy to lecture you about why your dumb opinion is wrong.  Clinton and Trump are horrible people supported by evil and corrupt organizations.  Jill Stein and the hippy Greens would probably shut down Kropkogate, ban football, force everyone into skinny jeans, and mandate that fall Saturdays are spent eating locally produced organic vegetables and socializing with people who've gone without showering for weeks.  Don't vote for Jill Stein.

 

ESPN Pick'em Update

Rankings for the 2016 season:

  1. Kropko
  2. Cardale Jones Diary
  3. Harbaugh Killed Harambe
Lane won week eight.  Don't forget to make your selections this week.

 

Mr. Marbles Game Plan

  Columbus, Kropkogate, 'Shoe, Cubs.

B1G Expert Pick'em

Each week, Kropkogate's team of expert prognosticators gamble their life savings away while attempting to predict the outcomes of all Big Ten games. The rankings remain unchanged.

`
 

 krop2.jpg

marbles.jpg

pizza.jpg

rusw.jpg

tbone.jpg

 

Kropko

Mr. Marbles

Pizza Hall

 Mr. Winkles 

 T-Bone

Northwestern at Ohio State
 Ohio State Ohio State
 Ohio State  Ohio State
 Ohio State
Michigan at Mich St
 Michigan Michigan
 Michigan  Michigan  Michigan
Penn St at Purdue
 Penn State Penn State
 Penn State  Penn State
 Penn State
Minnesota at Illinois
 Minnesota Minnesota
 Minnesota   Minnesota  Minnesota
Maryland at Indiana
 Indiana Indiana  Indiana  Maryland  Maryland 
Nebraska at Wisc  Wisconsin Wisconsin
 Wisconsin  Wisconsin  Nebraska 
           
           
           
           
           
           
           
           
This Week         6-0           6-0         6-0          5-1           4-2
Season           57-20          55-22        56-21         58-19          57-20
 
Week 8 Update PDF Print E-mail
(0 votes)
Written by Mr Marbles   
Sunday, 16 October 2016

Ohio State at Penn State

Saturday, October 21, 2016

For real-time updates, follow me on the Twitter - @Mr_Marbles

I tweet obsessively about a great mustache filling Purdue's open head coaching position.

 

ESPN Pick'em Update

Standings thru 7 weeks:

  1. Kropko
  2. Cardale Jones Diary
  3. Harbaugh Killed Harambe
BuckeyeSoldier won week seven. No idea who that is, but he or she has been participating in our pick'em for years.  Don't forget to make your selections this week.

 

Mr. Marbles Game Plan

We're back to tailgating on the Evanston golfcourse bright and early Saturday morning, Ryan Field for the Great Pat Fitzgerald Fistpumping Revival, then off to watering hole for Buckeyes/Cubs at night.  Odds are favorable for drinking a beer at some point during the day.

B1G Expert Pick'em

Each week, Kropkogate's team of expert prognosticators gamble their life savings away while attempting to predict the outcomes of all Big Ten games. The rankings remain unchanged.

`
 

 krop2.jpg

marbles.jpg

pizza.jpg

rusw.jpg

tbone.jpg

 

Kropko

Mr. Marbles

Pizza Hall

 Mr. Winkles 

 T-Bone

OSU at Penn State  Ohio State  Ohio State
 Ohio State
 Ohio State  Ohio State
Wisconsin at Iowa
 Wisconsin  Wisconsin  Wisconsin  Wisconsin  Wisconsin
Rutger at Minnesota
 Minnesota  Minnesota  Minnesota  Minnesota  Minnesota
Indiana at Northwestern
 Indiana  Indiana  Northwestern  Indiana  Northwestern
Purdue at Nebraska
 Nebraska  Nebraska  Nebraska  Nebraska  Nebraska
Illinois at Michigan
 Michigan  Michigan  Michigan  Michigan  Michigan
Michigan State at Maryland
 Maryland  Maryland  Michigan State
 Michigan State
 Michigan State
           
           
           
           
           
           
           
This Week         5-2           5-2         5-2          4-3           5-2
Season           51-20          49-22        50-21         53-18          53-18
 
Week 7 Update PDF Print E-mail
(0 votes)
Written by Mr Marbles   
Thursday, 13 October 2016

Ohio State at Wisconsin

Saturday, October 14, 2016

For real-time updates, follow me on the Twitter - @Mr_Marbles

I send tweets to Fox Sports 1 complaining about their MLB playoff broadcasts.

 

ESPN Pick'em Update

Standings thru 6 weeks:

  1. Kropko
  2. Cardale Jones Diary
  3. Harbaugh Killed Harambe
  kariwulf1 won week six. The internet tells me she used to work with Pizza.  Don't forget to make your selections this week.

 

Mr. Marbles Game Plan

Mr. Marbles takes his 2016 hiatus and sits out on tailgating action this week.   The Cubs play game one of the NLCS game at the same time as the Buckeyes game.  Sports God screws with me like this because he is cruel and fickle.  Haven't I sacrificed enough Natty Lights to please you, Heracles? Or is it Hermes?   Anyway, I believe I've laid to rest enough Nattys to satisfy both of you. 

 

B1G Expert Pick'em

Each week, Kropkogate's team of expert prognosticators gamble their life savings away while attempting to predict the outcomes of all Big Ten games. Last week the experts combined for a 13-17 record.  Darrel Hazell and those up and coming meddling Boilermakers bestowed quite a degree of damage to the reputation of this panel of esteemed experts, but Ruswinkle remains on top.

`
 

 krop2.jpg

marbles.jpg

pizza.jpg

rusw.jpg

tbone.jpg

 

Kropko

Mr. Marbles

Pizza Hall

 Mr. Winkles 

 T-Bone

OSU at Wisconsin
 Ohio State Ohio State
 Ohio State
 Ohio State
 Ohio State
Maryland at Minn
 Maryland Maryland
 Maryland  Maryland  Maryland
Iowa at Purdue
 Iowa Iowa  Iowa  Iowa  Iowa
Illinois at Rutger
 Illinois Illinois
 Illinois  Illinois  Illinois
Nebraska at Indiana  Indiana Indiana
 Nebraska  Nebraska  Nebraska
N'western at MSU  Michigan State Northwestern  Michigan State
 Michigan State
 Michigan State
           
           
           
           
           
           
           
           
This Week          3-3           4-2         4-2          4-2           4-2
Season           46-18          44-20        45-19         49-15          48-16
 
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