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UNLV PDF Print E-mail
(4 votes)
Written by Mr Marbles   
Wednesday, 20 September 2017

UNLV

Saturday, September 23, 2017
12 pm EST
Ohio Stadium, Columbus, OH

  abe.jpg 

Once again, Kropkogaters are looking forward to gathering together in the early hours of a Saturday morning to swill beverages, flip cups, and cornhole with each other in a public parking lot. This week, we do so to prepare for the Running Rebels of UNLV, who plan to cross the Mason-Dixon Line to wage battle against the Buckeyes of Ohio State. Curious onlookers will gather in Ohio Stadium to witness this War of Southwestern Aggression, hoping to see the rebellion quelled in an expedited manner. It's Buckeye Battle Cry against Rebel Yell, and the stakes have never been higher. That last sentence might be a bit of hyperbole, but suggesting the stakes have never been higher seemed like the most exhilarating way to wrap up the sentence. Also, this is the first time these two teams have ever faced off, so you can't argue against my claim that the stakes have never been higher at any other time these teams have matched up against each other.

As both a college football fan and Civil War enthusiast, I look forward to this occasion and expect everyone to show up wearing their finest Civil War Union uniforms, ready to man the Kropkogate battery. Veteran Kropkogaters are battle tested, with a controversial, yet successful, history of wiping out those who stood in the way of God's glorious blood-thirsty plan of Kropkogate Manifest Destiny. For those unfamiliar with our rich history of land-grabs and battles to protect the sacred Kropkogate soil, an updated account detailing the history of the Ag-Campus tailgating powers will be provided in a later chapter of this preview. If tested by Rebel tailgaters, the cone-wielding Army of The Kropkogate will pick up where Ohio's very own William Tecumseh Sherman left off years ago--leaving nothing left standing in its path but the charred remains of the Kropko-Jon, which will be filled with excrement, lit on fire, and projected toward Rebel advances.  

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William Tecumseh Sherman: 1864 Heisman Winner and famed flaming outhouse projectilist

 

 

UNLV: A Peculiar Institution

The odd story of the Running Rebel mascot is, well, curiously peculiar. Nevada has no ties to the Confederacy. It did not even achieve statehood until 1864, several years into the Civil War. In fact, statehood was granted in a process that was accelerated to ensure the re-election of the President Abraham Lincoln, the reluctant emancipator. The link provides the full story, but to sum it up, a series of escalating north-south rivalries during the 1950s within the Nevada university system brought forth the adoption of a confederate theme that was lovingly embraced by the school located in southern Nevada, which would evolve into present-day UNLV. In an effort to make sure everyone understood the Running Rebel moniker wasn't about rebelling against "the man," they went the extra mile and created a mascot in the form of a cartoon wolf sporting a Confederate uniform--named Beauregard--to symbolize the Running Rebel. I'd like to take this moment to remind our readers that you can catch both UNLV Running Rebel football and Ole Miss Rebel football on ESPN, the channel that pulled reporter Robert Lee from the Virginia game to avoid appearing insensitive. 

 

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Following the war, Confederate General Robert E Lee converted to Asian and spent his post-military career calling games for ESPN

Much like the Union Army of 1861, The Great State of Ohio enters Saturday's battle with more able bodies and resources than the Rebels. UNLV, despite a laughable Mountain West schedule, has only managed two winning seasons this century. To put that in perspective, our dear friend Rutger has managed eight winning seasons in that same span. Every Rebel season plays out for them like a re-enactment of the battle of Vicksburg--a seemingly endless siege that crushes their bowl-starving souls. Unless UNLV disguises former player Ickey Woods as a freshman running back or General Robert E. Lee shows up to coach the Rebels, the odds will be stacked heavily in the northern team's favor. Last time I checked, the former was door-to-door meat salesman and the latter was a controversial Asian football broadcaster, so there are many reasons for optimism in the Buckeye camp.

 

 

"Let us cross over the Olentangy River, and tailgate beneath the shade of the trees" --Stonewall Jackson 

Will Urban Meyer look like Philip Sheridan and lead Ohio to decisive victory?  Or will Kevin Wilson play the role of "tardy" George McClellan, squandering opportunities for offensive advancement? Will Ken Burns chronical the game in a four-part documentary? Will Pizza Hall lose his penis at the tailgate, much like Stonewall Jackson lost his arm at Chancellorsville? Will Kropkogaters cross the Woody-Hayes line in a drunken stupor, confuse Stoleygate for Atlanta, and burn it to the ground? Find out the answers to these questions, and not much more, this Saturday.

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Shortly after his arm was amputated, Stonewall Jackson ran out of his tent circling and shouting, "Where's my arm?! where's my arm!? where's my arm!?" then walked back into the tent, retrieved the severed limb, displayed it to the camp, and announced "Here it is, found it!" in a ruse to lift the spirits of his soldiers. In a hilarious turn of events, he died from pneumonia eight days later.


COTGS Index*: 50

Mr. Marbles will be attending the tailgate, planning to watch the game on Kropko-Vision and drink like he's Ulysses S. Grant, so that's got to be worth a few points. 

*Chances of Things Getting Stupid Index is determined using a highly complicated scientific formula that produces indexed results ranging from 0-100, computed using an array of complex variables and a multitude of over-sized computers located in the basement of Kropkogate

 

Kropkogate Dish of the Week

Delicious salt pork served out of a not-so-sanitary haversack. There won't be any Constipation Proclamations after a serving or two of scrumptious salt pork. Purchase your Kropko-Jon Day Pass in advance.

 

Kropkogate: An Illustrated History, Updated

I last updated the history of Kropkogate in 2010. With this week's theme of war and the availability of the technological advancement called copy and paste, it's time to provide an updated overview of our heritage.  

In the beginning, tailgaters wandered aimlessly throughout campus landscapes with only the basic necessities for survival. These necessities were found in packs of 24 and were carried up and down Lane Avenue where they were often consumed right in the middle of the street. The word "Kropkogate" had yet to be coined and Satan had yet to initiate her quest to destroy gameday. This would all change during a fateful New Year's Day bowl game in 2002 as a group of tailgating enthusiasts joined together for the first time for a gameday experience. Much like the meeting of Smith and Wesson, this gathering would alter their lives forever.

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It all started with the 2002 Outback Bowl. The world had not had such a gathering of fascinating ideology since Einstein met Tagore. The tailgate itself was lame, but the assembly of some of history's most influential gameday drunks set the groundwork for the future of Kropkogate. Stuck in traffic and arriving only an hour before kickoff, the tailgaters were forced to chug a few beers and leave for the game. It was then that they vowed to celebrate all future gamedays to their fullest ability. The origins of Kropkogate would evolve over 3 distinct eras as follows:

  • The Primitive Era

The first era of our tailgate commenced in the fall of 2002, as several of today's Kropkogaters began traveling across the Midwest to watch the Buckeyes on the road. These were simple times. Tailgates consisted only of beer and a Weber hibachi grill, with the car stereo blasting Cowboy Mouth and Deadeye Dick. Despite its simplicity, the tailgaters were undoubtedly creating a scene throughout various Big Ten campuses as they endured an undefeated and often heart-stopping Buckeye football season. The tailgaters remained scattered and unaffiliated during most of the home schedule, often only meeting after the games at Hineygate.

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  • The Norwichian Era

The Norwichian Era featured the beginning of massive home tailgates, hosted upon the grounds of several different locations along Norwich Avenue.

  • The 220 Period

The legend of the tailgate spread quickly when kegs began to be tapped early in the morning at 220 E Norwich Avenue, which at that time was home to a group of hooligans including editors of this website: Mr. Marbles and Pizza Hall.  Drinking games, heckling, and drunkenness reached new levels every Saturday at this location. The Kropko Plunge was initiated and tailgaters were sure to be treated to the hosts' odd selection of music, most notably the repeated playing of Conway Twitty, Deadeye Dick, and Cowboy Mouth.

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  • The 101 Period

The folks at 220 moved away after the 2003 season, but the tailgate continued to grow just down the street at 101 E Norwich. This period is celebrated for the level of heckling indecency that ensued from the front porch. Anyone walking down the street was subject to clever shouts, requests and chants--with opposing teams' fans and "walk of shame" pedestrians most often falling victim.

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  • The Period of Uncertainty

2005 would be the final period of the Norwichian Era. Several different Norwich Avenue locations played host to our shenanigans, with none of the residents appearing overly eager to obligue with hosting duties due to the fact we would arrive hours before they planned to wake up. Most of the tailgating crew had finished school and realized a new home for tailgating had to be established. This would commence the beginning of a new era of tailgating.

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  • The Modern Era

The history of the Modern Era and the struggle among ag-campus tailgating affiliations is a complicated study.  Most tailgaters simply show up on Saturdays ignorant of the eternal power struggle that surrounds the bloodied grounds upon which they drink.  However, to appreciate the tailgate and to avoid future sufferings of ignorance, it is certainly in one's best interest to examine the current political structure of the tailgating scene and learn its history. For only the enlightened will have the knowledge to thwart the mistakes of the past.

As the Norwichean Era closed, the tailgate moved from the University District to the alumni-centric parking lots surrounding St. John Arena. Life here was brief, just the last half of one season, as the Holbrookian Plague would reach epic proportion and uproot the entire tailgating community the following year. The Great Struggle among tailgaters can be traced directly to the era of Karen Holbrook's "Reign of Terror" during the early part of the new millennium. Under her dictatorial orders, tailgating peasants and laymen were exterminated from their familiar gameday locations. Signs of struggles to come commenced immediately under Holbrook's reign, as many had their possessions seized by the state and others found their gameday religious practices banned. Revolution and reaction between Holbrook's New World Order and counter-parties during that entire era (both bloody and bloodless) eventually led to many being driven from their sacred Saturday gathering posts. The "Trail of Tears" journey of displaced refugees moving across the river started when Holbrook pushed the laymen off Lane Avenue (going so far as sending vehicular traffic through previous drinking grounds in order to run down any revolutionaries).  Holbrook then forced thousands from their land in order to install a Handicapped Brotherhood on the most sacred of tailgating lots that surround St. John Arena.   Seeking tailgate asylum, thousands of tailgaters migrated across the Olentangy River in hopes of starting a new gameday life.

When tailgating immigrants reached the land of opportunity, they found they were not always welcomed by the natives of ag-campus tailgating community.  With the influx of those who previously tailgated in the Hineygate area and the addition of many who had simply grown too old to continue practicing in the off-campus housing community, cultures clashed and land-battles ensued within the limited land available.  These happenings have provided us with experience and lessons in class struggle among the gameday masses and have had a profound effect in shaping the current tailgate landscape.

Kropkogate established camp between two trees along Woody Hayes Drive. No one knew it at the time, but the stage was set for a historic battle to ensue.

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The map above shows the geographic structure of the major powers that ruled the ag-campus tailgate landscape after Holbrook forbid the able-bodied from parking in the St. John parking lot.  As you can see, the strategic location of our plot of land was sought for its proximity to Ohio Stadium, the Ag building restroom facilities, and ease of access to the expressway (Route 315). 

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This historic map outlines the power structure of Ag Campus Tailgating, circa 2009

Total war enraged when the tailgate first migrated from Norwich Avenue and clashed with the now extinct tribe of Old, Bitter, Boring Natives, who may or may not actually be the founders of the group still setting up just to the west of us.  Unlike Kropkogate's modern Cold War arms-race with Stoley-Gate, battles with the Old, Bitter, Boring Natives (OBBNs) were direct, as each side battled over a small claim of land. The OBBNs would send a representative at an extremely early hour to hold claim to a strategic plot of grass.  They only had one canopy and a handful of tailgaters--all of whom would just sit soberly in lawn chairs and watch people walk down Woody Hayes Drive.

As Kropkogate expanded, the narrow area between two trees could no longer accommodate the entire Kropkogate Enterprise.  However, just east of one of those trees laid OBBN's vast and fertile tailgating grounds.  These grounds were grossly under-utilized by the OBBNs, which led to Kropkogate's desire to conquer the land. The OBBNs were not a fan of our drunken shenanigans and repeated playing of "Chad Henne is a Bitch."  At one point, they became so angered that they started packing up their tailgate.  Kropkogaters stormed the territory and laid claim to the land before they could even finish packing.

The battle continued as the two camps would arrive earlier and earlier to lay claim to the ground.  The turning point in the war occurred in 2006 before the 3:30 pm game against Penn State.  Unlike today--when land grabs often begin the night before the game--in these early days of the Modern Era, one could usually arrive at 6 am and find the parking lot uninhabited.  Mr. Marbles and Pizza Hall arrived this particular morning at 4:00 am to claim the land under the cover of darkness.  About 30 minutes later, the OBBNs arrived--assumingly with the belief that they'd be the first in the lot--only to find two Kropkogaters already drinking upon the land.  The OBBNs immediately left the lot in anger, even though all other parking and tailgating spots were still available at that time.  They were never heard from again, as soon after they all died from typhoid...or perhaps they found another spot right next to us...it really isn't clear. 

Kropkogate quickly expanded and flourished on their new plot of land after the OBBNs surrendered, but soon a Cold War would develop as another power strengthened across the Woody-Hayes Line: Kamp Stoley-Gate.

stoleygate.jpg

Stoleygate 

For over 2000 years, Apocalyptic Christian theologians have feared the fulfillment of prophecies regarding the Bible's indication of "End Time."  According to Wikipedia, they assert that human and demonic agents of the Devil are involved in a primordial plot to deceive humanity into accepting a satanic world theocracy that has the Unholy Trinity--Satan, the Anti-Christ and the False Prophet--at the core of an imperial cult.  It is in my journalistic opinion that this Unholy Trinity is already lurking among us in one conglomerated form, and it goes by the name of Stoley-Gate.

Kamp Stoley-Gate sits upon a grassy plain directly south across Woody Hayes Drive from Kropkogate.  As the "Power Struggle" map featured earlier displays, they are always looming and threatening potential war with the fine folks of Kropkogate. Though no casualties have been suffered as a result of the war, an arms-race between the two powers initiated in "Cold War" fashion in 2006.  The two tailgates represent the biggest and most noticeable camps in the ag-campus area, so the struggle was inevitable as each strives for its own Manifest Destiny.  It's a history of action and reaction, as each tailgate competed to build an arsenal of canopies and tailgating equipment in a never-ending battle for tailgating supremacy.

kampstoleygate.jpg 

Even their sign is inferior

Kropkogate - America's Tailgate 

During the 2009 season, Kropkogate clearly took the lead in its battle with Stoleygate with the addition of the Kropkodome.  Kropkogate's Kropkodome was clearly visible from space, which is not something Stoleygaters could dream to claim about their own tailgate. Stoley-Gate quietly abandoned the arms race, yet it remains lurking ominously on the other side of the street, covertly plotting its rise to power again.

The last Great Threat to emerge was the sudden arrival of Jim and Sue, who caused quite a stir early one morning when they unknowingly set up their camp upon grounds God intended for Kropkogate's debauchery. An emergency pre-sunrise conference call was held among Kropkogate power brokers to debate the merits of diplomatic talks versus complete annihilation by means of simply burning their camp to the ground. After a vote, diplomatic efforts were chosen by the narrowest of margins. They exist as a friendly ally next to us today, often generous with their food and Fireball.

Another recent development is the emergence of the apparent Clown College on the western theatre. For the last couple years, a collection of face painting super fans have been gathering at a tailgate at the footsteps of our camp. They seem to be breeding superfans, but at this time do not appear to be a threat to the Kropkogate way of life.

The Modern era at Kropkogate brought forth the privilege of tailgating luxury. Industrial-sized heat lamps, the availability to watch games on Kropko-Vision via Direct TV satellite access, high quality sound systems, and our own private shitter, otherwise known as the Kropko-Jon.  New traditions added to the old, as coning beers became a sport and having relations in the ag building became worthy of merit badges. The Kropkodome came and went, nearly falling into the heat lamp and burning everyone underneath alive in its final years. But with each passing season, the tailgate has expanded and is now renowned as the best tailgate west of the Olentangy.

 

  ESPN Pick'em Update

Don't forget to make your Kropkogate ESPN Pick'em selections . Ranking thru 3 weeks: 

  1. id3ma
  2. Nick H
  3. Laura H

Katie Kropko won week three's contest. 

 

 B1G Expert Pick'em

Each week, Kropkogate's team of expert prognosticators gamble their life savings away while attempting to predict the outcomes of all Big Ten contests. As we approach week four, Mr. Winkles of Georgia is riding the always-dutiful Little Sorrel into first place, while Pizza Hall looks like General Pope at the Second Battle of Manassas

This week's Game of Intrigue is Penn State at Iowa. Nothing would warm my heart more than watching James Franklin taking artillery shell to the nuts, and I don't care if that plays out literally or figuratively. In last week's Game of Intrigue, four out of five experts picked seven point underdog Purdue. Picking Purdue usually works out as well as an insane man leading an 18 member motley crew in an attempt to raid a federal arsenal. However, unlike John Brown's rag tag militia, things worked out much more favorably for our throng of risk takers as Purdue dominated the fight and chased Mizzou back into the foothills.

 

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Kropko

Mr. Marbles

Pizza Hall

 Mr. Winkles 

 T-Bone

UNLV at Ohio State
 Ohio State Ohio State  Ohio State 

 Ohio State  

 Ohio State
UCF at Maryland
 Maryland Maryland  Maryland   Maryland   Maryland 
Rutger at Nebraska  Nebraska Nebraska  Nebraska   Nebraska   Nebraska 
Georgia Southern at Indiana
 Indiana Indiana  Indiana   Indiana   Indiana 
Michigan at Purdue
 Michigan Michigan

 

Michigan 

 Michigan   Michigan 
Penn State at Iowa
 Penn State Penn State  Iowa  Penn State   Penn State 
Notre Dame at Michigan State  Notre Dame Notre Dame  Michigan State   Michigan State   Michigan State 
           
           
           
           
           
 




           
This Week
          6-1          6-1        4-3         5-2        5-2  
Season Record          38-7          37-8        33-12        38-7          35-10
 
Army PDF Print E-mail
(1 vote)
Written by Mr Marbles   
Monday, 11 September 2017

The Army

Saturday, September 16, 2017
4:30 pm EST
Ohio Stadium, Columbus, OH

    

I'm always disinterested in games against service academies...and now I'm even less interested considering last week's disheartening loss. Tying semi-professional sports to academic institutions makes little sense. Tying it to service academies makes even less. But, in this slow march to eternal nothingness, why bother trying to rationalize anything?

 

Game starts at 4:30 and you know where to find the tailgate beforehand.  Kropko-Jon is back, and if they lose it will be burned to the ground. I already gave myself one star for this preview, so the hell with trying to do much more.


COTGS Index*: 22

*Chances of Things Getting Stupid Index is determined using a highly complicated scientific formula that produces indexed results ranging from 0-100, computed using an array of complex variables and a multitude of over-sized computers located in the basement of Kropkogate


ESPN Pick'em Update

Don't forget to make your Kropkogate ESPN Pick'em selections . Ranking thru 2 weeks: 

  1. Laura H
  2. osuguy978
  3. Nick H

  osuguy978 won week two. I don't remember who that is.

B1G Expert Pick'em

Each week, Kropkogate's team of expert prognosticators gamble their life savings away while attempting to predict the outcomes of all Big Ten contests. Defending champion Mr. Winkles has pulled ahead of the rest of the pack after two weeks.

Game of intrigue: Purdue vs. Mizzou. It's the smallest point spread this week and Purdue has looked like a fully functional football team for the first time in years.

`
 

 krop2.jpg

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Kropko

Mr. Marbles

Pizza Hall

 Mr. Winkles 

 T-Bone

Army at Ohio State  Ohio State  Ohio State Ohio State    Ohio State Ohio State

Illinois at South Florida 

 South Florida  South Florida  South Florida   South Florida  South Florida
Bowling Green at Northwestern Northwestern Northwestern  Northwestern   Northwestern Northwestern
Air Force at Michigan  Michigan   Michigan  Michigan   Michigan  Michigan
Northern Illinois at Nebraska  Nebraska  Nebraska  Nebraska   Nebraska  Nebraska
Morgan State at Rutger  Rutger  Rutger  Rutger  Rutger  Rutger
North Texas at Iowa  Iowa  Iowa  Iowa  Iowa  Iowa
Middle Tennessee at Minnesota  Minnesota  Minnesota  Minnesota   Minnesota  Minnesota
Wisconsin at BYU  Wisconsin  Wisconsin  Wisconsin  Wisconsin   Wisconsin
FIU at Indiana    

 
Purdue at Missouri  Purdue  Purdue  Purdue   Purdue Missouri
Georgia State at Penn State  Penn State  Penn State Penn State  Penn State  Penn State
 




           
 Results           10-1          10-1        10-1         10-1         9-2
Season Record          32-6          31-7        29-9        33-5          30-8
 
Oklahoma PDF Print E-mail
(3 votes)
Written by Mr Marbles   
Sunday, 03 September 2017

Oklahoma

Saturday, September 9, 2017
7:30 pm EST
Ohio Stadium, Columbus, OH

 

    

Pregame Goal: Get the ponies drunk.


COTGS Index*: 76

*Chances of Things Getting Stupid Index is determined using a highly complicated scientific formula that produces indexed results ranging from 0-100, computed using an array of complex variables and a multitude of over-sized computers located in the basement of Kropkogate

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Ohio State, for its fourth consecutive game, gets the ESPN Gameday treatment, but don't let that stop you from generating ESPN-SEC conspiracy theories.

Oklahoma Coach Big Game Bob Stoops retired abruptly during the offseason, which is unfortunate because I found a lot of enjoyment in shouting "BIG GAME BOB!" every time Big Game Bob lost a big game. Nevertheless, Oklahoma will walk into Ohio Stadium ranked in the Top 10 and Kropkogate will be operating in Big Game Mode to start the home schedule. Fortunately, the tailgate got a warmup in Bloomington last Thursday and should be looking like a well-oiled over-served drunk machine for the prime-time matchup.  With prime-time games come long hours of tailgating, which is why we are excited to announce a new addition to the tailgate this Saturday: The Kropko-Jon!

portjon.jpg

Don't worry, we're optimistic the thin layer of plastic will protect everyone from contracting typhoid. 

For the first time, ever, Kropkogate will enjoy the luxury of its own on-site hand-crafted portable shitter. Set to be delivered Friday night, tailgate regulars are eager to christen the Kropko-Jon with human waste that will then mellow within the plastic receptacle which will be baking in the hot sun just steps away from the tailgate. It's a benchmark event in Kropkogate waste management history and, by most measurements, it will be an improvement over the make-shift piss tent that was temporarily erected for a tailgate a few years back. The Kropko-Jon offers limitless opportunities for sword fights, sexual relations, and dropping poo. Note: I now have an email from Kropko stating relations in the waste receptacle are forbidden (which makes it even more exciting). Pricing will be enforced as follows:

$2 per use
$5 unlimited day pass
$10 plus cone chug for #2

It is with much regret that I must announce I will not be in attendance for this exciting event as another one of Mrs. Marbles' college friends is making the poor choice to get married on gameday. Evidently this couple did not read my 2013 Purdue preview and don't realize someone at their reception will most definitely drop over dead when the gods retaliate against their decision to have a reception during an Ohio State prime-time football game.

 

Equus Ferus Caballus, Ranked:

Boomer and Sooner will be pulling the Oklahoma Conestoga wagon into Columbus this weekend, bringing with it dysentery, cholera, and an excuse to rank some equine: 

  1. Little Sebastian
  2. Mr. Ed
  3. Little Sorrel
  4. Rainbow Dash
  5. Incitatu

The lying liberal media would fill these rankings with bullshit horseys like Seabiscut and Secretariat. Secretariat won a lot of horse races, but what else did he accomplish? Did he talk? Go to war? Dine with Caligula? Maintain the weather and clear the skies of Ponyville? I'm sick and tired of the ESPN horsey hype machine building up these over-rated circle runners. There are certainly many more horseys and ponies of greater worth.

 

Kropkogate Dish of the Week

You likely guessed it: Pony Chili! Go ahead and fill up, there's a toilet on site.

lb.jpg

This thing is all chopped up and simmering in a pot of chili

 

ESPN Pick'em Update

Don't forget to make your Kropkogate ESPN Pick'em selections . Week One results:

  1. Laura H
  2. Edward Kropko
  3. id3ma

 

B1G Expert Pick'em

Each week, Kropkogate's team of expert prognosticators gamble their life savings away while attempting to predict the outcomes of all Big Ten contests. Kropko, Marbles, and Winkles tied for week one, while T-Bone and Pizza Hall retreated to the Kropkogate basement. The Kropkogate basement is dark, moldy, and filled with rats. It's also where we store the hotdogs that we'll be serving at the tailgate this week.

This week's game of intrigue is Florida Atlantic at Wisconsin. The game will likely be a blowout, but Lane Kiffin dealing with the fans at Camp Randall fascinates my imagination.

`
 

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Kropko

Mr. Marbles

Pizza Hall

 Mr. Winkles 

 T-Bone

Oklahoma at Ohio State
 Ohio State  Ohio State  Ohio State  Ohio State  Ohio State
Ohio at Purdue  Purdue  Purdue  Ohio  Purdue  Purdue
Northwestern at Duke
 Northwestern  Northwestern  Northwestern   Duke  Northwestern
Towson at Maryland  Maryland  Maryland  Maryland   Maryland  Maryland
Cincinnati at Michigan
 Michigan  Michigan  Michigan   Michigan  Michigan
Iowa at Iowa State  Iowa  Iowa  Iowa  Iowa  Iowa
Florida Atlantic at Wisconsin
 Wisconsin  Wisconsin  Wisconsin   Wisconsin  Wisconsin
Western Michigan at Michigan State
Michigan State  Michigan State  Western Michigan   Michigan State  Michigan State
Pitt at Penn State  Penn State  Penn State
 Penn State  Penn State  Penn State
Eastern Michigan at Rutger  Rutger  Rutger  Rutger   Rutger  Eastern Michigan
Indiana at Virginia
 Indiana  Virginia  Indiana   Indiana  Virginia
Nebraska at Oregon  Oregon  Oregon  Nebraska   Oregon  Oregon
Western KY at Illinois
 Western Kentucky  Western Kentucky
 Western Kentucky   Western Kentucky  Western Kentucky
Minnesota at Oregon State
 Minnesota  Minnesota  Minnesota   Minnesota  Minnesota
 Last Week
          10-4          9-5        8-6         11-3
        10-4
Season Record          22-5          21-6        19-8        23-4          21-6
 
Indiana & 2017 Season Preview PDF Print E-mail
(6 votes)
Written by Mr Marbles   
Monday, 07 August 2017

Indiana

Thursday, August 31, 2017
8:00 pm EST
Memorial Stadium, Bloomington, IN

arch.jpg

America's most beloved architects include Frank Lloyd Wright, Louis Sullivan, and whoever designed this thing at the Ohio-Indiana state line

COTGS Index*:81

*Chances of Things Getting Stupid Index is determined using a highly complicated scientific formula that produces indexed results ranging from 0-100, computed using an array of complex variables and a multitude of over-sized computers located in the basement of Kropkogate

This tailgate preview is dedicated to the memory of Tom Raper. The signs near Richmond may now read "Camper's World," but those RVs will always and forever be Raper RVs in our hearts. #Exit149A

Ohio State opens the season in unusual fashion, with a Thursday night divisional matchup against Indiana. A meaningful game with a special weeknight on-site visit from ESPN's College Gameday will certainly ruffle some feathers of Big Ten traditionalists.  It makes one yearn for the good old days of titillating openers in Columbus featuring intra-state rival Youngstown State with Beth Mowins on the play-by-play. Does tradition not matter anymore? 

I'm not sure how a weekday edition of GameDay will work, but I'm as sure as God made little green apples that John Mellencamp will be the special guest, the story of Lee Corso stopping a game in the first quarter to get a team photo under the scoreboard with his Indiana team up 7-6 over Ohio State will be told, and, somehow, basketball will work its way into the conversation.

Kropkogate will be in Bloomington operating in full capacity. Your grandchildren will read about this tailgate in their history books. This marks our first ever weeknight tailgate on a visiting campus. With that in mind, it will be in your best interest to attend; your grandchildren will one day have all kinds of questions about the event, such as, "What the f*** is a Hoosier?" and "Grandpa, did you ever find your penis?"

This will also be Indiana's day for the biennial Memorial Stadium aerial photo shoot, as the chance to capture the stadium at capacity and full of red only comes along once every two years. Make sure you wear something nice and comb your hair before entering the stadium; we want our Kropkogate representatives looking dapper for the occasion.

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Indiana's Board of Regents approved the recently completed end-zone expansion and another to be built in the opposite side after an aerial shot of a game against Ohio State game was provided in a Power Point presentation. Since no one on the board had ever attended an Indiana football game, they approved the expansion, under the assumption it wasn't a desolate empty pile of concrete with poor sight-lines on all other home dates.

Doubleheader

Mr. Marbles will attend the historic Thursday tailgate in Bloomington, then doubles down in the history books when he heads back up to Evanston for a tailgate on Saturday--his first ever two tailgates in one weekend college football experience. And what better venues to accomplish this feat than the venerable college football cathedrals of Ryan Field and Memorial Stadium?

 

Mr Marbles 2017 Tour of Madness

Reminder for our non-regular readers:  Mr. Marbles is not Kropko. Kropko is Chief Operating Officer of tailgate operations, I (Mr Marbles) am Minister of Kropkogate Propaganda and Public Enlightenment. I type words into this web application. I promise you we are two separate human beings. This is not his schedule.


  • 08/31 - Bloomington, Indiana:  Ohio State at Indiana
  • 09/02 - Evanston, Illinois:  Nevada at Northwestern
  • 09/16:  Evanston, Illinois: Bowling Green at Northwestern (game only, no tailgate)
  • 09/23 - Columbus, Ohio:  UNLV at Ohio State 
  • 10/07 - Evanston, Illinois:  Penn State at Northwestern
  • 10/14 - Lincoln, Nebraska:  Ohio State at Nebraska
  • 10/21 - Evanston, Illinois:  Iowa at Northwestern
  • 10/28 - Evanston, Illinois:  Michigan State at Northwestern
  • 11/04 - Iowa City, Iowa:  Ohio State at Iowa
  • 11/11 - Evanston, Illinois:  Purdue at Northwestern
  • 11/18 - Evanston, Illinois:  Minnesota at Northwestern
  • 12/02 - Indianapolis, Indiana:  Big Ten Championship Game (if OSU plays)

Yeah, yeah, that gap in September. I blame Mrs. Marbles, who attended a non-football-focused institution of higher learning. This resulted in her collecting a network of friends that make poor choices, such as scheduling weddings on football Saturdays. Highlights on tap for this year's tour include trips to Bloomington, Iowa City, Lincoln, and--if we pray hard and the Good Lord is willing--Indianapolis for the Big Ten Championship Game.

 

ESPN Pick'em Update

It's that time again to register for the Kropkogate ESPN Pick'em contest . Weekly winners win fabulous prizes that I may or may not ever deliver and get a shout-out on this widely read web site.  The real glory comes from winning the season-long cumulative battle.  To be a champion requires careful study and analysis of all FBS programs and/or the capacity to remember to log-in and make your selections each week.  Final rankings for the 2016 season:

  1. Cardale Jones Diary
  2. Kropko
  3. Mr. Marbles

 

Mr Marbles' Pre-Season Big Ten Predictions

Like all college football fans with access to the world wide web, I publish pre-season predictions.  I just do it with less arrogance than Phil Steele, who pleasures himself while flipping through his own print-edition until the all the pages stick together.

East

  1. Ohio State
  2. Penn State
  3. Michigan
  4. Maryland
  5. Michigan State 
  6. Indiana
  7. Rutger

 It won't be easy for Michigan, but I trust Harbaugh will find a way to bring them back to third place divisional glory.  Rutger will still be buried in the basement unworthy of earning their "s"

 

West

  1. Wisconsin
  2. Northwestern
  3. Nebraska
  4. Iowa 
  5. Minnesota 
  6. Illinois
  7. Purdue 

As usual, you could re-arrange the top 5 of the west in any order and I wouldn't argue. Minnesota will start out 7-0 with snake oil salesman PJ Fleck and row-the-boat-mania taking over the college football world.  Also, they will finish the regular season at 7-5 and get beat by Western Michigan in a bowl game.

B1G Champion: Whoever wins the west with a 6-3 conference record, because the college football gods are cruel and spiteful.

 

B1G Expert Pick'em

Each week, Kropkogate's team of expert prognosticators gamble their life savings away while attempting to predict the outcomes of all Big Ten contests. Mr. Winkles is our esteemed defending champion, but the rest of the gang is hungry for Skyline chili and redemption.  So, tie on your bib and make sure you have plenty of toilet paper in the room where you poop, cause this could get nasty. 

This week's Mr. Marbles' Matchup of Intrigue is Ball State at Illinois.  No way, no how Illinois could lose this game, but they probably will. 

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Kropko

Mr. Marbles

Pizza Hall

 Mr. Winkles 

 T-Bone

Ohio State at Indiana
 Ohio State  Ohio State
 Ohio State
 Ohio State
 Ohio State
Buffalo at Minnesota
 Minnesota  Minnesota  Minnesota  Minnesota  Minnesota 
Utah State at Wisconsin
 Wisconsin  Wisconsin  Wisconsin  Wisconsin
 Wisconsin 
Washington at Rutger  Washington  Washington  Washington  Washington  Washington 
Michigan vs Florida (ArlingtoN, TX)  Michigan  Michigan  Michigan  Michigan  Michigan 
Maryland at Texas
 Texas  Texas  Texas  Texas  Texas
Louisville vs Purdue (Indianapolis, IN)
 Louisville  Louisville  Louisville  Louisville  Louisville 
Wyoming at Iowa
 Iowa  Iowa  Wyoming  Iowa  Iowa
Nevada at Northwestern
 Northwestern  Northwestern  Northwestern  Northwestern  Northwestern 
Arkansas State at Nebraska
 Nebraska  Nebraska  Nebraska  Nebraska  Nebraska 
           
Bowling Green at Michigan State
 Michigan State  Michigan State
 Michigan State
 Michigan State
 Michigan State 
Ball State at Illinois
 Illinois  Illinois  Illinois  Illinois  Ball State
Akron at Penn State
 Penn State  Penn State
 Penn State
 Penn State  Penn State 
 Results           12-1          12-1
       11-2         12-1
         11-2
Last Season           83-33          81-35        85-31         88-28          86-30
 
Bowl PDF Print E-mail
(0 votes)
Written by Mr Marbles   
Friday, 16 December 2016
ESPN Pick'em Update

Final rankings for the 2016 season:

  1. Cardale Jones Diary
  2. Kropko
  3. Mr. Marbles

 

B1G Expert Pick'em

Each week, Kropkogate's team of expert prognosticators gamble their life savings away while attempting to predict the outcomes of all Big Ten game.  

UPDATE:  MR WINKLES IS CHAMPION!

`
 

 krop2.jpg

marbles.jpg

pizza.jpg

rusw.jpg

tbone.jpg

 

Kropko

Mr. Marbles

Pizza Hall

 Mr. Winkles 

 T-Bone

QUICK LANE BOWL:

Maryland vs Boston College

 Maryland  Maryland  BC  Maryland   Maryland 

HOLIDAY BOWL:

Minnesota vs Washington State

 Washtington State   Washtington State   Washtington State   Washtington State  Washtington State

PINSTRIPE BOWL:

Pittsburgh vs Northwestern

 Pitt  Pitt  Northwestern   Northwestern  Northwestern  

FOSTER FARMS BOWL:

Indiana vs Utah

 Utah  Utah  Utah   Utah  Utah

MUSIC CITY BOWL:

Nebraska vs Tennessee

 Nebraska  Tennessee   Tennessee   Tennessee   Tennessee 

ORANGE BOWL

Michigan vs Florida State

 Michigan  Michigan   Michigan   Michigan   Michigan 

CFB PLAYOFF - FIESTA BOWL:  

Ohio State vs Clemson

 Ohio State  Ohio State  Clemson  Ohio State  Ohio State  

OUTBACK BOWL:

Iowa vs Florida

 Florida  Iowa  Florida   Iowa  Iowa 

COTTON BOWL:

Western Michigan vs Wisconsin

 Wisconsin  Wisconsin  Wisconsin   Wisconsin   Wisconsin 

ROSE BOWL:

USC vs Penn State

 USC  Penn State  USC  USC  USC
           
           
           
           
Bowl Week          4-6
         3-7         8-2          5-5           5-5
Season           83-33          81-35        85-31         88-28          86-30
 
Week 14 Update PDF Print E-mail
(0 votes)
Written by Mr Marbles   
Sunday, 27 November 2016
ESPN Pick'em Update

We're down to the final Saturday of the Pick'em.  Rankings for the 2016 season:

  1. Cardale Jones Diary
  2. Kropko
  3. Mr. Marbles
Laura Hall won Week 13.  Don't forget to make your selections this week.

 

B1G Expert Pick'em

Each week, Kropkogate's team of expert prognosticators gamble their life savings away while attempting to predict the outcomes of all Big Ten game.  Only one game to select this week, but the chaos of bowl picks loom in the near future.

`
 

 krop2.jpg

marbles.jpg

pizza.jpg

rusw.jpg

tbone.jpg

 

Kropko

Mr. Marbles

Pizza Hall

 Mr. Winkles 

 T-Bone

Wisconsin vs Penn State
 Wisconsin  Penn State  Wisconsin   Wisconsin  Wisconsin
           
           
           
           
           
           
           
           
           
           
           
           
           
This Week          0-1
         1-0         0-1          0-1           0-1
Season           79-27          78-28        77-29         83-23          81-25
 
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